Too busy to fall behind

The past three weeks in the Mallard house have been busy, busy, busy. Clay and I have decided that this year will be the year to start working on fixing up the house so we can sell the minute the housing market picks up again. Our first order of business was to start on a massive decluttering spree because two packrats should never, ever live together. Many garbage bags were used, closets were emptied and papers were shredded. Our little house, which previously felt like it was busting at the seams, is once again tidy. Now we just have to start on fixing up the cosmetic aspect of the house. Joy.

In the midst of our cleaning frenzy Jeremy turned 1 year old. We invited our immediate families over for lunch and some Sesame Street themed birthday cake. Clay and I could not believe that our little guy was already a year old. I held it together well, only getting a little teary eyed as Jeremy demolished his own little smash cake. In the weeks before his birthday I was sure I was going to break down and cry at the thought that I would never again have a little baby in my house. But after Jeremy's birthday, as I put the Boppy, Exersaucer, bouncy seat and all the other baby things in a garage sale pile I mainly felt a sense of relief. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it when my boys were babies but I love that they older they get, the more... well... fun they get!

Even though Nicholas was only 2 1/2 years when Jeremy was born, it seemed like we were at a place where we were able to do so much with Nicholas. Once Jeremy arrived we again had to pull out all the things you need when you have an infant- the bigger diaper bag, the bigger stroller, the bottles, the 8 million diapers. I missed the days when I could just grab Nicholas, my purse and go. It was also a rude awakening to go from regularly getting a good night's sleep to once again revisiting those sleepless nights and bleary-eyed days. Naps aren't as easy to take when you have two kids on different sleep schedules. I would often feel a little sad for Nicholas because there were places I couldn't take him as often because I couldn't handle two kids by myself. I'm very good at multi-tasking but it is hard for Mom to climb up the jungle gym when she has a little baby in her arms!

Sure I will miss the way a new baby smells and the way a little one will snuggle so nicely on your chest with their head fitting right under your chin. And, thanks to hyperemesis, I am still a little angry that I had the decision regarding my family size made for me. Luckily those little heartbreaks are tempered by the absolute joy of watching Jeremy's personality and interests begin to develop. Going places with both boys is fun now because they play off of each other's reactions- Jeremy is no longer a baby bump on a log. Jeremy very much wants to keep up with his older brother so he too climbs the jungle gym, despite his young age (and his Mom hovering behind.)

I know one day I'll blink and my boys will be leaving for college so I don't want them to grow too fast. But if it has to happen I am going to make sure I stay busy enjoying every minute of the present and not dwelling in the past.