What kind of parent are you?

I found this little survey on one of my favorite blogs (http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/)
and I started thinking about how I parent and how being a Mom makes me feel. Often I get bogged down in the day to day job of Motherhood and I forget what an amazing gift I have in my children. As I read Tertia's and her reader's responses I began to think about how, even though we all parent differently, in the end we only want what is best for our children. It is so interesting to see how other people worry about things that would never cross my mind and vice versa. It makes me wonder why we often judge other parents harshly- as long as kids are taken care of and cared for, why do the little differences matter? Here are my answers to the survey, why don't you take a moment to give me yours.

I would never:
Leave my kids unattended in a tub or near water

I always:
Check on them in the middle of the night

I got an easy ride when it came to:
Flexbility- both of my kids are very go with the flow and don't freak out if their routine is disturbed

The part I dislike most about parenting is:
When my kids are sick. I hate feeling so helpless.

The part I love most about parenting is:
Seeing them learn and experience new things.

My terrible parenting secret is:
They don't get a bath every night.

I would describe my approach to discipline as:
Consistent and fair

My worst parenting habit:
Second guessing my husband in front of the kids when I think he is being too strict

The one thing I am really proud of is:
I am very patient

I probably am too lenient when it comes to:
Having Nicholas pick up his toys

I hope my kids inherit my:
Compassion, patience and love of reading

I hope my kids don’t inherit my:
Shyness and weight issues

I love that my kids are:
So laid back and easygoing

The thing I miss most about my pre-mom days is:
Sleeping when I want and having time alone.

Motherhood is:
More rewarding than I thought it could be. Now that I am a mom, I feel settled, like I don't have to keep searching for my place in the world because I am finally home.

Pumpkin Picking

October is here, the leaves are turning and Halloween is right around the corner. I love this time of year because there are so many things to do, like wander around apple orchards and pumpkin patches. We have a Mallard family tradition where we head to our favorite pumpkin patch, pick out one pumpkin for each person in the family, and carve them in funny different ways. When Nicholas was 5 months old we made a baby pumpkin, complete with one of Nick's pacifiers stuck in the pumpkin's mouth. Last year, when I was pregnant with Jeremy and sicker than sick, my husband made my pumpkin look like it also had morning sickness. Most of the time we use our imagination to create funny faces but there are some great templates available on the Internet. If you are looking for some inspiration, here are a few sites I like:

http://www.pumpkinlady.com/pattern.htm
http://www.ehow.com/halloween/templates.html
http://www.carvingpumpkins.com/

I used to buy the pumpkin carving kits available in the store but found the tools to be too flimsy to be useful so now I save my money and raid my kitchen drawers. I like to use a large spoon to scoop out the pumpkin seeds, a serrated knife to carve large details and a paring knife for smaller details. Also, instead of cutting around the stem to make a lid for the pumpkin, I cut off the bottom so I can use the stem as a handle when I place the pumpkin over the light source. Some people prefer real candles but I like to use the battery operated candles in my pumpkins as I worry about an open flame being so close to tiny little trick or treaters.

One of the best things about carving pumpkins is toasted pumpkin seeds. The seeds are easy to make, nutritious, and are a great snack on Halloween night when the candy bars are calling your name. This is my favorite toasted pumpkin seed recipe:

Separate pumpkin seeds from the pulp by placing the seeds in a colander and rinsing under cold water. You will need about 2 cups or the amount in one large pumpkin.
Spread the seeds on paper towels to dry overnight or microwave for 2-3 minutes until dry.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Place dried seeds on a cookie sheet in a single layer.
Sprinkle the seeds with 2 tsp. oil, butter or spray with cooking spray until covered; add salt and toss to coat.
Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour or until seeds are dry, golden and crunchy; stirring occasionally.
Store seeds in an airtight container.

Now that you know one of my favorite Halloween activities, I would love to hear about some of your Halloween traditions. What makes the season special for you?

Happy Halloween!

On the Road Again

My husband is GA born and bred and we are very lucky to have his mother and his siblings living very close to us. But, with the exception of my parents and my brother, all of my family is scattered throughout VA which means a lot of road trips. When we were a childless couple a trip to VA could be accomplished with little preparation, in about 6 hours, stopping only for gas and the bad for you but very yummy fast food. Now that I have two kids getting ready for a road trip takes planning and preparation not seen since D-Day. While I wouldn’t say trips now are easy, I have learned a few tricks to make them a little less painful.

First, I make a very detailed list, broken down by each child and everything they might need, no matter how small. This breakdown makes buying supplies and packing extremely easy. I make a list of outfits the children might need, including socks, shoes, underwear/diapers and I even include the blankets for the Pack-n-Play in that list. I cross things off as I pack so when I am interrupted (and I am ALWAYS interrupted) I know what I have already packed and what needs to go without having to take everything out of the suitcase. I also tend to overpack for my kids as I never know if I am going to be near a washing machine or if I will even have the time to do a quick load of wash. I like to pack two outfits per day for each child. Sure the suitcase is filled to bursting but I like knowing that I won’t have to deal with any muddy or soiled outfits (barring a horrible diaper blowout incident) until I get home.

When I am at home I try to be environmentally friendly but on a road trip plastic is my friend. My 7 month old eats baby food so I like to buy the Gerber baby food that comes in plastic containers. I buy the Stage 1 2oz containers of fruits and veggies even though he is eating Stage 2 because he isn’t able to finish an entire 4oz container of the fruits and veggies. I don’t know what refrigeration will be available so I can get 4oz of baby food in him without worrying about what I am going to do with the leftovers. For his breakfasts I buy the premixed cereal and fruits that come in the jars- heat them and you are ready to go without having to worry about mixing up a bowl of cereal. Pampers makes some awesome disposable paper bibs and Stage 1 makes great plastic spoons that are reusable but cheap enough that you won’t be heartbroken if you forget one at a restaurant.

My brother sometimes jokes that our car resembles a grocery store on wheels when we travel but snacks are a must. Occasional calorie splurges are fun on a road trip but a steady diet of fast food just makes us sick. I like to pack a cooler full of water, juice boxes and a few sodas for my husband and myself. In another bag I pack all kinds of snacks, from chips to dried fruit to trail mix. We really like the fruit bars from Trader Joe’s because they make a quick breakfast or snack and don’t contain a lot of the artificial stuff found in other breakfast bars. When my 3 year old gets hungry he goes from 0-cranky in no time so I have to have something to give him quickly. Snacks brought from home also help in cutting down the travel budget- especially when gas costs an arm and a leg.

I always bring a bag of toys for the kids to play with in the car. Nicholas is getting to the age where he can pack his own bag and while the toys might seem like a mish-mash to me he feels very grown up packing his own bag. I also bring a few surprises along because after a while the toys from home lose their luster. For the surprise toys I hit the dollar aisle at Target, the dollar store, the clearance rack at bookstores and toy stores. The surprises are usually small, non-messy and very simple but because they are new they are irresistible. My son’s favorite travel activity right now are coloring books and the Color Wonder pens. I like them too because I know that his masterpiece will only show up on paper, not all over his carseat. This bag of toys comes in handy keeping a child occupied when we visit an older older relative who has replaced kid’s toys with really expensive shiny and breakable things.

Ever hear the term “music soothes the savage beast?” This is very true when you have toddlers stuck in a car for several hours. I like to bring along a few kid friendly cds to serve as a distraction. Our current faves are anything from Laurie Berkner, Jack Johnson (especially the Curious George soundtrack), Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. We also like to listen to kids books on cd- Nicholas and Jeremy can look at the pictures and “read along.” Often these stories will put them to sleep, which makes the trip a lot easier for everyone. A lot of libraries now carry books on tape and cd, just ask the librarian.

When the bag of toys loses its luster and the kids have to get out of the car, we hit the rest stop. There are always grassy areas by the rest rooms and away from the parking lots where kids can play and stretch their legs. I would love to give a big smooch to whoever designed the rest stop when you first hit VA as they even included a little playground. If we have enough room we will often bring a little soccer ball that Nicholas can kick around. Speaking of rest stops, if you are potty training a road trip can be a challenge. My aunt, who has a 5 year old and a 3 year old, swears by the portable potty you can purchase at Babies ‘R’Us. These potties fold flat when not in use and have liners that you can toss away after the child finishes.

In VA we visit with family but we prefer to stay in a hotel because it works better for us if we have our own place to go to at night and our own space. With a hotel we don’t feel like we are imposing when we bring in all of our baby stuff and the family we are visiting doesn’t feel like they have been invaded. It may cost a bit more in dollars but we tend to stay at the same family of hotels so we can earn reward points which result in free hotel stays. Plus our favorite hotel has a free breakfast every morning so we can go visit with family refreshed and without the morning grouchies. Finally, we always bring a little touch of home with us that isn’t necessary but is very comforting. Nicholas always brings his favorite pair of pajamas and Jeremy has the blanket out of his crib. My husband and I always seem to make room for our laptops and our mp3 players. Having these little touches from home often help the uneasiness that my kids feel when they have all these relatives that they don’t quite remember giving them kisses and pinching their cheeks.

These tips may seem simple or obvious but they have really helped make my traveling life easier. While I write this post we are on our way to VA for my cousins wedding (gotta love that laptop) and so far we are having a great trip. It might be a hassle to get all the stuff wrangled, but it is worth it in the end when we get to reconnect with family and make new memories.

Five Years

October 12, 2002, the day this picture was taken, was the day I started my family. No, I was not pregnant on my wedding day and my first child didn’t come for another 19 months. Yes, I know some people don’t really consider a couple a family until they have a child, but I would have to respectfully disagree. I believe my family began the day I said “I Do.”

Clay and I dated for 4 years before we were married but I knew I wanted to marry him on our first date. He was the nicest and smartest man I had ever met. He was considerate- opening my door, pulling out my chair and *gasp* calling when he said he would! He was opinionated without being brash and sarcastic without being mean. Of course his piercing blue eyes and mile long eyelashes were a nice bonus. Over the years I found that Clay and I shared so many of the same values, an ability to laugh at anything and a belief that nothing is sacred. Plain and simple, Clay is my best friend and I had to marry him because I couldn’t imagine a life without him. Well, not a happy life.

When we took our vows of “for better or worse” and “in sickness and in health”, little did we know that we would have those vows tested twice in our marriage. I developed Hyperemesis Gravidarium (HG) in both of my pregnancies (that’s a topic for another post) and boy did we have a tough time. Clay overcame a fear of needles, doctors. and hospitals in order to change my IV bags, hold my hand through many needle sticks and become my advocate when I was too sick to speak. While other HG sufferer’s marriages implode around us ours is still going strong. I guess we are just too stubborn to let the monster that is HG break us up.

Once the boys arrived and the reality of parenting hit, I was delighted to see that Clay is a great father. Many family members and friends have commented on how Clay is a very hands on Dad and they are right. He has truly been a partner in parenting and all that entails and is very nurturing. Ok, his idea of nurturing is throwing the boys in the air, wrestling with them on the floor and being more rough and tumble than Mom; but it seems to work as the boys are happy, thriving and adore their father. Clay is determined to teach our sons how to be men, while at the same time teaching them to be caring and kind. My sons are learning, by their father’s example, that a real man is one that takes care of his family, is reliable, dependable, polite, loving, honest and trustworthy. He works so hard to make sure that we have a good life and never once complains, despite the fact that he has a full time job and goes to school at night. Plus Clay is an Eagle Scout so he knows all kinds of cool survival tricks and outdoor skills, including how to make a yummy chocolate cake over an open fire.

While I am a “World of Warcraft” widow and sometimes he forgets to put his clothes into the hamper (okay, ALL the time), Clay is always there when we need him. Finding time to be together and connect while working and raising two kids can be a challenge but somehow we manage, even if that means just a quick hug in the kitchen or a chat while we fold laundry. When life gets hectic and the boys are waking us up in the middle of the night or throwing up all over us, there is still no one in the world I would rather have beside me cleaning up the mess and making me laugh about the situation. Plus, how could you not love a man who tells you how beautiful you look even when you have just given birth and are a sweaty, bloody mess?

I know this is a parenting blog and this is more of a love letter than a parenting post, but I had to take a moment to thank my husband. Without Clay I wouldn’t have become a parent and he helps me be a better mom. When I feel like being a Mom is just a hard, tiring and thankless job, he is there to offer encouragement and appreciation. It is my hope that all of you out there have a spouse, partner or a friend who treats you as well as Clay treats me.

Happy Anniversary Clay, I love you with all my heart.

Sunny day..sweeping the clouds away

My husband and I purchased the tickets for Sesame Street Live on a whim after we saw the commercial on PBS. For a week leading up the event we rolled our eyes and made jokes about drinking before the show started in order to dull the pain of attending a kiddy program. I played it cool while we watched the show, singing along softly to a few songs, laughing at the corny jokes and only occasionally whispering a sarcastic comment to my husband about the songs or the lead actress. But when I heard the first strains of the song, and saw the hand poised over the pinball machine my cool demeanor evaporated and I lost my mind. I screamed, I cheered and I made a complete idiot of myself. Yes, it is true; I had a complete meltdown at the Sesame Street Live show because they played the “Pinball Countdown Song.” I am sure you know the song I am talking about- it was the cartoon where the Pointer Sisters sang “1.2.3.4.5..6.7.8.9.10..11.12…doo doo doo doo doo” while a pinball machine was used to count down all of different numbers This cartoon was my favorite when I was the little one sitting in front of the TV.

I was born in 1974, so I am part of the first generation of kids who were exposed to Sesame Street. I have very fond memories of my time spent watching Bert, Ernie, Big Bird and Grover. Sesame Street helped me not only learn my ABCs and 123s, but it taught me to love and respect people even if they looked or talked differently from me, to not be afraid of trying and failing and that sometimes (in the case of Mr. Hooper), people die. Sesame Street didn’t talk down to kids; rather they let us in on the joke and made us feel like the smartest kids in the room. Now I watch the show through an adult filter and I laugh at how clever the writing really is. I love it when there is a guest star on Sesame Street, like REM singing “Shiny Happy Monsters”, Norah Jones singing to a letter or Rachael Ray marveling over a dancing tomato puppet. Just the other day my husband and I were cracking up over Robert De Niro’s explanation to Elmo that all an actor does is get paid to pretend. You haven’t seen funny until you see a dog puppet with De Niro’s voice. I have also found that Nicholas responds better to Sesame Street’s teaching of the alphabet than my instruction at the kitchen table. I know that while Nicholas enjoys the show he is also learning something, which I don’t feel happens with other kid’s programming.

Ok, so maybe I was a little more excited about seeing Sesame Street than I let on. And yes, I did get a little lump in my throat when Nicholas picked out Cookie Monster as his souvenir from the show because Cookie Monster was my favorite character when I was a kid. I laughed when Nicholas spent the rest of the show holding up his Cookie Monster toy so the real Cookie Monster could see it whenever he came onstage because I used to do the same thing whenever I saw Cookie Monster on tv. For one day all the parents in Phillips Arena lost our adult cynicism and let Sesame Street come alive for us again. We forged another connection with our children over a mutual love and admiration for the characters on a classic TV show. My son and I now have a weekly standing date where we fire up You Tube and watch clips from classic Sesame Street episodes. And you better believe that when he gets older we are moving on to Schoolhouse Rock and The Electric Company!

Just for old time’s sake, I present to you “The Pinball Countdown” from Sesame Street