Five Years

October 12, 2002, the day this picture was taken, was the day I started my family. No, I was not pregnant on my wedding day and my first child didn’t come for another 19 months. Yes, I know some people don’t really consider a couple a family until they have a child, but I would have to respectfully disagree. I believe my family began the day I said “I Do.”

Clay and I dated for 4 years before we were married but I knew I wanted to marry him on our first date. He was the nicest and smartest man I had ever met. He was considerate- opening my door, pulling out my chair and *gasp* calling when he said he would! He was opinionated without being brash and sarcastic without being mean. Of course his piercing blue eyes and mile long eyelashes were a nice bonus. Over the years I found that Clay and I shared so many of the same values, an ability to laugh at anything and a belief that nothing is sacred. Plain and simple, Clay is my best friend and I had to marry him because I couldn’t imagine a life without him. Well, not a happy life.

When we took our vows of “for better or worse” and “in sickness and in health”, little did we know that we would have those vows tested twice in our marriage. I developed Hyperemesis Gravidarium (HG) in both of my pregnancies (that’s a topic for another post) and boy did we have a tough time. Clay overcame a fear of needles, doctors. and hospitals in order to change my IV bags, hold my hand through many needle sticks and become my advocate when I was too sick to speak. While other HG sufferer’s marriages implode around us ours is still going strong. I guess we are just too stubborn to let the monster that is HG break us up.

Once the boys arrived and the reality of parenting hit, I was delighted to see that Clay is a great father. Many family members and friends have commented on how Clay is a very hands on Dad and they are right. He has truly been a partner in parenting and all that entails and is very nurturing. Ok, his idea of nurturing is throwing the boys in the air, wrestling with them on the floor and being more rough and tumble than Mom; but it seems to work as the boys are happy, thriving and adore their father. Clay is determined to teach our sons how to be men, while at the same time teaching them to be caring and kind. My sons are learning, by their father’s example, that a real man is one that takes care of his family, is reliable, dependable, polite, loving, honest and trustworthy. He works so hard to make sure that we have a good life and never once complains, despite the fact that he has a full time job and goes to school at night. Plus Clay is an Eagle Scout so he knows all kinds of cool survival tricks and outdoor skills, including how to make a yummy chocolate cake over an open fire.

While I am a “World of Warcraft” widow and sometimes he forgets to put his clothes into the hamper (okay, ALL the time), Clay is always there when we need him. Finding time to be together and connect while working and raising two kids can be a challenge but somehow we manage, even if that means just a quick hug in the kitchen or a chat while we fold laundry. When life gets hectic and the boys are waking us up in the middle of the night or throwing up all over us, there is still no one in the world I would rather have beside me cleaning up the mess and making me laugh about the situation. Plus, how could you not love a man who tells you how beautiful you look even when you have just given birth and are a sweaty, bloody mess?

I know this is a parenting blog and this is more of a love letter than a parenting post, but I had to take a moment to thank my husband. Without Clay I wouldn’t have become a parent and he helps me be a better mom. When I feel like being a Mom is just a hard, tiring and thankless job, he is there to offer encouragement and appreciation. It is my hope that all of you out there have a spouse, partner or a friend who treats you as well as Clay treats me.

Happy Anniversary Clay, I love you with all my heart.