Not Playing Around

I am writing this post with a muddled brain as I seem to have caught my ten millionth cold this year. I've decided that the indoor play area at our local mall is responsible for my misery as it is certainly a little petri dish of germs. Sure there is a little sign in front of the area claiming that a cleaning crew does a spit and polish job on the play structure twice a day but I simply don't believe it. I think those cleaning times are a figment of someone's imagination, like Bigfoot or jeans that make short curvy women look good.

Last week I let Nicholas play in the disease..er..play area after a particularly boring mall shopping day. He had a blast, running, jumping, climbing and picking up who knows what kinds of germs. When it was time to go I washed his hands well and set about my merry way. Saturday morning, Nicholas woke up with a whopper of a fever, congestion and some stomach upset. No one in our family or his class at school is sick so we were stumped as to where this new illness was coming from. Then we thought about *cue ominious music* the mall play structure!! We started recounting the various illnesses he has had in the past few months and noticed how they all occured after his activity time in the mall. What can I say, Clay and I are quick!

So here I sit, tissue in hand, sniffling and sneezing because Nicholas graciously shared his germs with me. My son is such a giver. As of now I am putting my foot down and declaring an end to the mall play area for my son. While I am not a germaphobe, I don't want to have to cover my son in a fine sheen of Purell before I allow him to play on a giant plastic police car. So, from now on it is outdoor parks for us. Sure we might get cold playing outside in the dead of winter but we have mittens, coats and hats. The way I figure it the colder it is, the fewer the germs that will survive. Sorry cootie-laden mall play area, you have been defeated this time!

My Christmas Mojo

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. There is something magical about going out at night and seeing lights and decorations covering every surface and brightening the landscape. Normal routines are shaken up as we pull out fancy clothes, eat rich foods, listen to dogs singing "Jingle Bells" and decorate our houses with dead trees and socks. The sense of Christmas Day anticipation is, in my opinion, more intoxicating than a mixed drink! But, now that I am older and have more of a hand in the Christmas preparations, sometimes it can be hard to keep my Christmas mojo.

One way I keep my sanity is to order gifts online. I normally am not a mall person but during the Christmas season I avoid the mall like the plague. I love buying my gifts while sitting on my couch in my pajamas. No one is jostling me, I don't have to hunt for what I want and most of the time I have two or three clicks of the mouse and I am done. I love Amazon almost as much as I love my family because you can find everything on that site, often a lot cheaper than at the store! I rarely pay shipping as many Internet retailers are getting wise to the fact that more and more people are doing their shopping online. Plus, I get a tiny little thrill each time I see the UPS truck pull up to my house. Hey, I am easily entertained.

I make sure I set a lot of time aside to do the things I like during the holidays. I know that can be hard if you have older kids who have a ton of school activities or if you have a lot of holiday parties to attend. Trust me, you will be amazed how calming the thought of doing what you want to do later can be. I love to bake, so I take an entire weekend to shop for my ingredients, prepare my treats and package them. I put on some good music, grab a mug of tea and go to work. The best part of my baking is I am not tempted to eat my goodies because frankly, after rolling my 100th peanut butter ball in chocolate I am not interested in ever seeing them again, much less eating one. You may hate baking but love Christmas movies, so watch one a night until Christmas. Do whatever you need to do to remain centered.

My family is my main priority during the Holiday season. I would rather politely and happily turn down a party invitation then go and run the risk of being a party pooper. I realized a long time ago that people will understand if you can't make every event during the holidays. I promise you won't hurt anyone's feelings if you take some time out to be with family! Tonight my family is going to follow fellow Atlanta Parent blogger Walt's advice and have a Stone Mountain Christmas. Sure it would be fun to dress up in our fancy party clothes and have a couple of drinks, but my husband and I will treasure the memory of our two boys riding the Christmas train a lot more.

I know the material nature of the holiday season can be overwhelming. When I feel like all I am doing is shelling out cash and buying, buying, buying I remember that this season isn't only about material goods. We are a Catholic family so we make sure to light the candles in the Advent wreath and remember the religious aspect of Christmas. You may feel that the Holiday spirit is one of love for your fellow man or doing works of charity. Whatever the holiday season means to you, be it religious or secular, do whatever it takes to make the season more meaningful.

If I am still feeling like a Grinch about the holiday season, I just think back to what it was like to be a kid at this time of the year. I remember many a Christmas Eve where I couldn't go to sleep because I might miss the sound of Santa's sleigh bells. My son Nicholas is now at the age where Christmas is the biggest thing in his life. Everything about the season is exciting to him and his glee rubs off on my husband and me. While I won't say beg, borrow or steal a child (PLEASE DON'T DO THAT), pretend that you are a kid again and see if you don't feel your heart growing, to quote Dr. Seuss, 3 sizes bigger.

Hyperemesis Awareness

There is a belief in my family that if you are pregnant and throw up you are having a girl and if you eat everything in sight you are having a boy. So, in my first pregnancy when I began to throw up at 6 weeks the only thought I had about morning sickness was I would soon need to buy pink dresses and tiny hairbows. At first I found the morning sickness to be annoying and something to grin and bear, but when I couldn’t keep down water and was throwing up every 15 minutes I began to suspect something might be wrong. I consulted the pregnancy bible “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” and read that some women are sicker than others in pregnancy but on the rare chance that you can't keep anything down you should give your OB's office a call. When I called the OB the “helpful” (ha ha) nurses suggested crackers, ginger ale, sea bands and small frequent meals. I wondered how this would help me if I couldn’t even keep water down? When I went to the OB for my 8 week checkup my Dr. took one look at me and immediately sent me to Northside where I was given 4 bags of IV fluid in order to get rehydrated. I thought the worst was over until I had to go back to the hospital the next week for more fluids. At that time I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarium (HG).

Hyperemesis is severe nausea and vomitting in pregnancy which causes a woman to become dehydrated because she is unable to properly eat and drink. A woman also loses more than 5% of her body weight and has trouble working or maintaining a normal routine because she is so ill. Hyperemesis feels as if you combined the worst hangover and stomach flu you have ever had and multiplied that by 1000. Once I recevied my diagnosis, I became an invalid, dealing with home health care nurses, IV hydration, blown veins in my hands, powerful anti-nausea drugs that were fed into my leg via a pump and kept me in a haze and an overwhelming fear that my baby and, well, I, wouldn't make it through this ordeal. When Nicholas was born healthy and weighing in at a whopping 8lbs 1 ozs, I finally felt like I could breathe again. I was determined to give Nicholas a sibling even though I knew that my Hyperemesis would most likely strike again. Sure enough at 6 weeks I was back in the ER receiving fluids. This time I knew what I was up against and demanded more aggresive treatment for my Hyperemesis. Thankfully, Jeremy was born healthy but I decided that my dream of having 4 kids was just not possible. My days of pregnancy and battling Hyperemesis were over.

The medication, IVs, nausea and inability to eat was horrible; but the worst part of Hyperemesis is the isolation. Because only 1-2% of pregnant women get this condition, there is little understanding of what exactly causes this severe form of morning sickness. I had to go on disability from my job because I couldn’t manage the drive to work- not with the constant vomiting and the IV pole. Many people thought I was exaggerating and trying to get attention. They didn’t understand that while I was desperately lonely I couldn’t have them come over because smells would send me into hours long vomiting fits. I couldn’t relate to other pregnant women- Cravings? Maternity and baby clothes shopping? I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t leave the house because I refused to throw up in public. Baby showers? Pregnancy glow? HA! My only lifesaver was http://www.helpher.org/, a hyperemesis pregnancy website and message board. The users of that board knew the fear, frustration and anger of a Hyperemesis pregnancy.

Now that I have defeated the Hyperemesis demon, I feel it is my duty to help other women. While Hyperemesis is still a rare disease, more research, publicity and awareness is occuring every day. Matter of fact, NBC News recently aired a story about Hyperemesis, which I have posted below. If you know someone who is suffering from Hyperemesis, or you think you might have it, please seek help. Don't worry about being wrong, or being called a whiner. An excellent online resource is http://www.helpher.org/. If you would like to talk about your experiences, or ask questions, please comment below. Just know that you are not alone!


The struggle against hyperemesis

Learning to Let Go

With the exception of a miserable 6-month stint in the corporate world, I have always worked in the field of Education. There is nothing more exhilarating then seeing a child learn and knowing I was responsible for the a-ha moment when a concept finally sinks in. My professional life took place when I was childless so I uttered the phrase “when I have kids I’ll never…” too much for my own good. I never said those words to the parents of course, but I know I often had opinions of parents or children that really didn’t reflect a real world experience. Now that I am a parent I see things from the other side of the desk and I am receiving a rude awakening. My oldest son Nicholas goes to our church’s preschool 3 days a week and really enjoys his time there. Nicholas is also learning that classrooms have rules different than at home and therefore he is spending a lot of time in time-out. His issues are normal for a 3 year old and nothing too horrible but when I receive a less than lovely discipline report I wonder if I am the parent of the “bad kid” in class or if people think my husband and I are bad parents. I know that is an irrational thought but sometimes it is hard to be neutral and see the big picture when I have the Momma Bear instinct running through my veins.

Now, I am a realist and I know that my child isn’t so sweet that he could be made out of spun sugar. Nicholas is all boy, very active and a bit mischievous but I know that when he gets overexcited and acts up in class it is more out of sheer excitement and joy than anything malicious. I want to make sure Nicholas is a good friend and classmate and can obey the school’s rules but I don’t want to hurt his love of learning. Even though we aren’t supposed to do it, teachers and parents talk about kids and I don’t want my son labeled a troublemaker. As a mom I want everyone to see my child for the good kid he is and I want other people to love him as much as I do. But, at the same time I know that it isn’t healthy for me to hover over him, make excuses and protect him from every bad thing he might encounter. If he is going to be a well-rounded kid he has to learn things on his own and deal with the consequences of his actions. When I was the teacher I hated it when parents would question every move I made but now I see how hard it is to let go and trust someone else to know what is good for my child.

Sometimes it feels like I am an acrobat walking a tightrope. I need to be an advocate for my child while at the same time letting him find his way in the world. The frightening thing is the issues will only get bigger. Right now I fret over his behavior in a 3-year old classroom but one day I’ll have to worry about his grades, a girl breaking his heart, temptations and hard choices. I want to keep him small and in the safe little bubble of our home but I can’t. He has to learn that not everyone will love him as much as I do and that is okay! So my son and I are both getting an education right now. Nicholas is learning his letters, numbers and colors and I am learning that my job as a parent is to be my child’s soft place to fall. So far my son seems to be thriving and his once a day time-outs don’t seem to be hurting his love of learning. How am I doing? Well, I am developing a thicker mom skin and learning to let go, one baby step at a time.

What kind of parent are you?

I found this little survey on one of my favorite blogs (http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/)
and I started thinking about how I parent and how being a Mom makes me feel. Often I get bogged down in the day to day job of Motherhood and I forget what an amazing gift I have in my children. As I read Tertia's and her reader's responses I began to think about how, even though we all parent differently, in the end we only want what is best for our children. It is so interesting to see how other people worry about things that would never cross my mind and vice versa. It makes me wonder why we often judge other parents harshly- as long as kids are taken care of and cared for, why do the little differences matter? Here are my answers to the survey, why don't you take a moment to give me yours.

I would never:
Leave my kids unattended in a tub or near water

I always:
Check on them in the middle of the night

I got an easy ride when it came to:
Flexbility- both of my kids are very go with the flow and don't freak out if their routine is disturbed

The part I dislike most about parenting is:
When my kids are sick. I hate feeling so helpless.

The part I love most about parenting is:
Seeing them learn and experience new things.

My terrible parenting secret is:
They don't get a bath every night.

I would describe my approach to discipline as:
Consistent and fair

My worst parenting habit:
Second guessing my husband in front of the kids when I think he is being too strict

The one thing I am really proud of is:
I am very patient

I probably am too lenient when it comes to:
Having Nicholas pick up his toys

I hope my kids inherit my:
Compassion, patience and love of reading

I hope my kids don’t inherit my:
Shyness and weight issues

I love that my kids are:
So laid back and easygoing

The thing I miss most about my pre-mom days is:
Sleeping when I want and having time alone.

Motherhood is:
More rewarding than I thought it could be. Now that I am a mom, I feel settled, like I don't have to keep searching for my place in the world because I am finally home.

Pumpkin Picking

October is here, the leaves are turning and Halloween is right around the corner. I love this time of year because there are so many things to do, like wander around apple orchards and pumpkin patches. We have a Mallard family tradition where we head to our favorite pumpkin patch, pick out one pumpkin for each person in the family, and carve them in funny different ways. When Nicholas was 5 months old we made a baby pumpkin, complete with one of Nick's pacifiers stuck in the pumpkin's mouth. Last year, when I was pregnant with Jeremy and sicker than sick, my husband made my pumpkin look like it also had morning sickness. Most of the time we use our imagination to create funny faces but there are some great templates available on the Internet. If you are looking for some inspiration, here are a few sites I like:

http://www.pumpkinlady.com/pattern.htm
http://www.ehow.com/halloween/templates.html
http://www.carvingpumpkins.com/

I used to buy the pumpkin carving kits available in the store but found the tools to be too flimsy to be useful so now I save my money and raid my kitchen drawers. I like to use a large spoon to scoop out the pumpkin seeds, a serrated knife to carve large details and a paring knife for smaller details. Also, instead of cutting around the stem to make a lid for the pumpkin, I cut off the bottom so I can use the stem as a handle when I place the pumpkin over the light source. Some people prefer real candles but I like to use the battery operated candles in my pumpkins as I worry about an open flame being so close to tiny little trick or treaters.

One of the best things about carving pumpkins is toasted pumpkin seeds. The seeds are easy to make, nutritious, and are a great snack on Halloween night when the candy bars are calling your name. This is my favorite toasted pumpkin seed recipe:

Separate pumpkin seeds from the pulp by placing the seeds in a colander and rinsing under cold water. You will need about 2 cups or the amount in one large pumpkin.
Spread the seeds on paper towels to dry overnight or microwave for 2-3 minutes until dry.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Place dried seeds on a cookie sheet in a single layer.
Sprinkle the seeds with 2 tsp. oil, butter or spray with cooking spray until covered; add salt and toss to coat.
Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour or until seeds are dry, golden and crunchy; stirring occasionally.
Store seeds in an airtight container.

Now that you know one of my favorite Halloween activities, I would love to hear about some of your Halloween traditions. What makes the season special for you?

Happy Halloween!

On the Road Again

My husband is GA born and bred and we are very lucky to have his mother and his siblings living very close to us. But, with the exception of my parents and my brother, all of my family is scattered throughout VA which means a lot of road trips. When we were a childless couple a trip to VA could be accomplished with little preparation, in about 6 hours, stopping only for gas and the bad for you but very yummy fast food. Now that I have two kids getting ready for a road trip takes planning and preparation not seen since D-Day. While I wouldn’t say trips now are easy, I have learned a few tricks to make them a little less painful.

First, I make a very detailed list, broken down by each child and everything they might need, no matter how small. This breakdown makes buying supplies and packing extremely easy. I make a list of outfits the children might need, including socks, shoes, underwear/diapers and I even include the blankets for the Pack-n-Play in that list. I cross things off as I pack so when I am interrupted (and I am ALWAYS interrupted) I know what I have already packed and what needs to go without having to take everything out of the suitcase. I also tend to overpack for my kids as I never know if I am going to be near a washing machine or if I will even have the time to do a quick load of wash. I like to pack two outfits per day for each child. Sure the suitcase is filled to bursting but I like knowing that I won’t have to deal with any muddy or soiled outfits (barring a horrible diaper blowout incident) until I get home.

When I am at home I try to be environmentally friendly but on a road trip plastic is my friend. My 7 month old eats baby food so I like to buy the Gerber baby food that comes in plastic containers. I buy the Stage 1 2oz containers of fruits and veggies even though he is eating Stage 2 because he isn’t able to finish an entire 4oz container of the fruits and veggies. I don’t know what refrigeration will be available so I can get 4oz of baby food in him without worrying about what I am going to do with the leftovers. For his breakfasts I buy the premixed cereal and fruits that come in the jars- heat them and you are ready to go without having to worry about mixing up a bowl of cereal. Pampers makes some awesome disposable paper bibs and Stage 1 makes great plastic spoons that are reusable but cheap enough that you won’t be heartbroken if you forget one at a restaurant.

My brother sometimes jokes that our car resembles a grocery store on wheels when we travel but snacks are a must. Occasional calorie splurges are fun on a road trip but a steady diet of fast food just makes us sick. I like to pack a cooler full of water, juice boxes and a few sodas for my husband and myself. In another bag I pack all kinds of snacks, from chips to dried fruit to trail mix. We really like the fruit bars from Trader Joe’s because they make a quick breakfast or snack and don’t contain a lot of the artificial stuff found in other breakfast bars. When my 3 year old gets hungry he goes from 0-cranky in no time so I have to have something to give him quickly. Snacks brought from home also help in cutting down the travel budget- especially when gas costs an arm and a leg.

I always bring a bag of toys for the kids to play with in the car. Nicholas is getting to the age where he can pack his own bag and while the toys might seem like a mish-mash to me he feels very grown up packing his own bag. I also bring a few surprises along because after a while the toys from home lose their luster. For the surprise toys I hit the dollar aisle at Target, the dollar store, the clearance rack at bookstores and toy stores. The surprises are usually small, non-messy and very simple but because they are new they are irresistible. My son’s favorite travel activity right now are coloring books and the Color Wonder pens. I like them too because I know that his masterpiece will only show up on paper, not all over his carseat. This bag of toys comes in handy keeping a child occupied when we visit an older older relative who has replaced kid’s toys with really expensive shiny and breakable things.

Ever hear the term “music soothes the savage beast?” This is very true when you have toddlers stuck in a car for several hours. I like to bring along a few kid friendly cds to serve as a distraction. Our current faves are anything from Laurie Berkner, Jack Johnson (especially the Curious George soundtrack), Sesame Street and The Muppet Show. We also like to listen to kids books on cd- Nicholas and Jeremy can look at the pictures and “read along.” Often these stories will put them to sleep, which makes the trip a lot easier for everyone. A lot of libraries now carry books on tape and cd, just ask the librarian.

When the bag of toys loses its luster and the kids have to get out of the car, we hit the rest stop. There are always grassy areas by the rest rooms and away from the parking lots where kids can play and stretch their legs. I would love to give a big smooch to whoever designed the rest stop when you first hit VA as they even included a little playground. If we have enough room we will often bring a little soccer ball that Nicholas can kick around. Speaking of rest stops, if you are potty training a road trip can be a challenge. My aunt, who has a 5 year old and a 3 year old, swears by the portable potty you can purchase at Babies ‘R’Us. These potties fold flat when not in use and have liners that you can toss away after the child finishes.

In VA we visit with family but we prefer to stay in a hotel because it works better for us if we have our own place to go to at night and our own space. With a hotel we don’t feel like we are imposing when we bring in all of our baby stuff and the family we are visiting doesn’t feel like they have been invaded. It may cost a bit more in dollars but we tend to stay at the same family of hotels so we can earn reward points which result in free hotel stays. Plus our favorite hotel has a free breakfast every morning so we can go visit with family refreshed and without the morning grouchies. Finally, we always bring a little touch of home with us that isn’t necessary but is very comforting. Nicholas always brings his favorite pair of pajamas and Jeremy has the blanket out of his crib. My husband and I always seem to make room for our laptops and our mp3 players. Having these little touches from home often help the uneasiness that my kids feel when they have all these relatives that they don’t quite remember giving them kisses and pinching their cheeks.

These tips may seem simple or obvious but they have really helped make my traveling life easier. While I write this post we are on our way to VA for my cousins wedding (gotta love that laptop) and so far we are having a great trip. It might be a hassle to get all the stuff wrangled, but it is worth it in the end when we get to reconnect with family and make new memories.

Five Years

October 12, 2002, the day this picture was taken, was the day I started my family. No, I was not pregnant on my wedding day and my first child didn’t come for another 19 months. Yes, I know some people don’t really consider a couple a family until they have a child, but I would have to respectfully disagree. I believe my family began the day I said “I Do.”

Clay and I dated for 4 years before we were married but I knew I wanted to marry him on our first date. He was the nicest and smartest man I had ever met. He was considerate- opening my door, pulling out my chair and *gasp* calling when he said he would! He was opinionated without being brash and sarcastic without being mean. Of course his piercing blue eyes and mile long eyelashes were a nice bonus. Over the years I found that Clay and I shared so many of the same values, an ability to laugh at anything and a belief that nothing is sacred. Plain and simple, Clay is my best friend and I had to marry him because I couldn’t imagine a life without him. Well, not a happy life.

When we took our vows of “for better or worse” and “in sickness and in health”, little did we know that we would have those vows tested twice in our marriage. I developed Hyperemesis Gravidarium (HG) in both of my pregnancies (that’s a topic for another post) and boy did we have a tough time. Clay overcame a fear of needles, doctors. and hospitals in order to change my IV bags, hold my hand through many needle sticks and become my advocate when I was too sick to speak. While other HG sufferer’s marriages implode around us ours is still going strong. I guess we are just too stubborn to let the monster that is HG break us up.

Once the boys arrived and the reality of parenting hit, I was delighted to see that Clay is a great father. Many family members and friends have commented on how Clay is a very hands on Dad and they are right. He has truly been a partner in parenting and all that entails and is very nurturing. Ok, his idea of nurturing is throwing the boys in the air, wrestling with them on the floor and being more rough and tumble than Mom; but it seems to work as the boys are happy, thriving and adore their father. Clay is determined to teach our sons how to be men, while at the same time teaching them to be caring and kind. My sons are learning, by their father’s example, that a real man is one that takes care of his family, is reliable, dependable, polite, loving, honest and trustworthy. He works so hard to make sure that we have a good life and never once complains, despite the fact that he has a full time job and goes to school at night. Plus Clay is an Eagle Scout so he knows all kinds of cool survival tricks and outdoor skills, including how to make a yummy chocolate cake over an open fire.

While I am a “World of Warcraft” widow and sometimes he forgets to put his clothes into the hamper (okay, ALL the time), Clay is always there when we need him. Finding time to be together and connect while working and raising two kids can be a challenge but somehow we manage, even if that means just a quick hug in the kitchen or a chat while we fold laundry. When life gets hectic and the boys are waking us up in the middle of the night or throwing up all over us, there is still no one in the world I would rather have beside me cleaning up the mess and making me laugh about the situation. Plus, how could you not love a man who tells you how beautiful you look even when you have just given birth and are a sweaty, bloody mess?

I know this is a parenting blog and this is more of a love letter than a parenting post, but I had to take a moment to thank my husband. Without Clay I wouldn’t have become a parent and he helps me be a better mom. When I feel like being a Mom is just a hard, tiring and thankless job, he is there to offer encouragement and appreciation. It is my hope that all of you out there have a spouse, partner or a friend who treats you as well as Clay treats me.

Happy Anniversary Clay, I love you with all my heart.

Sunny day..sweeping the clouds away

My husband and I purchased the tickets for Sesame Street Live on a whim after we saw the commercial on PBS. For a week leading up the event we rolled our eyes and made jokes about drinking before the show started in order to dull the pain of attending a kiddy program. I played it cool while we watched the show, singing along softly to a few songs, laughing at the corny jokes and only occasionally whispering a sarcastic comment to my husband about the songs or the lead actress. But when I heard the first strains of the song, and saw the hand poised over the pinball machine my cool demeanor evaporated and I lost my mind. I screamed, I cheered and I made a complete idiot of myself. Yes, it is true; I had a complete meltdown at the Sesame Street Live show because they played the “Pinball Countdown Song.” I am sure you know the song I am talking about- it was the cartoon where the Pointer Sisters sang “1.2.3.4.5..6.7.8.9.10..11.12…doo doo doo doo doo” while a pinball machine was used to count down all of different numbers This cartoon was my favorite when I was the little one sitting in front of the TV.

I was born in 1974, so I am part of the first generation of kids who were exposed to Sesame Street. I have very fond memories of my time spent watching Bert, Ernie, Big Bird and Grover. Sesame Street helped me not only learn my ABCs and 123s, but it taught me to love and respect people even if they looked or talked differently from me, to not be afraid of trying and failing and that sometimes (in the case of Mr. Hooper), people die. Sesame Street didn’t talk down to kids; rather they let us in on the joke and made us feel like the smartest kids in the room. Now I watch the show through an adult filter and I laugh at how clever the writing really is. I love it when there is a guest star on Sesame Street, like REM singing “Shiny Happy Monsters”, Norah Jones singing to a letter or Rachael Ray marveling over a dancing tomato puppet. Just the other day my husband and I were cracking up over Robert De Niro’s explanation to Elmo that all an actor does is get paid to pretend. You haven’t seen funny until you see a dog puppet with De Niro’s voice. I have also found that Nicholas responds better to Sesame Street’s teaching of the alphabet than my instruction at the kitchen table. I know that while Nicholas enjoys the show he is also learning something, which I don’t feel happens with other kid’s programming.

Ok, so maybe I was a little more excited about seeing Sesame Street than I let on. And yes, I did get a little lump in my throat when Nicholas picked out Cookie Monster as his souvenir from the show because Cookie Monster was my favorite character when I was a kid. I laughed when Nicholas spent the rest of the show holding up his Cookie Monster toy so the real Cookie Monster could see it whenever he came onstage because I used to do the same thing whenever I saw Cookie Monster on tv. For one day all the parents in Phillips Arena lost our adult cynicism and let Sesame Street come alive for us again. We forged another connection with our children over a mutual love and admiration for the characters on a classic TV show. My son and I now have a weekly standing date where we fire up You Tube and watch clips from classic Sesame Street episodes. And you better believe that when he gets older we are moving on to Schoolhouse Rock and The Electric Company!

Just for old time’s sake, I present to you “The Pinball Countdown” from Sesame Street

Pictures or Privacy?

There is a bit of a bruhaha going on in the Internet blogging world right now (I know, when isn't some drama going on on the Internet?). A fairly popular blogger, Dutch, of the blog Sweet Juniper (sweet-juniper.com), recently discovered that a photo editor from the parenting website Babble.com used an unauthorized picture of Dutch's daughter to illustrate a story. How did the photo editor get this picture? She/He used the search function on Flickr.com, found the picture and grabbed it from the site. Dutch was not contacted prior to the use of the photo and when he complained about the use of the picture he was offered a paltry $100 and a meek apology. Dutch refused the money and decided to go public about the picture fiasco. Now there are many parent bloggers who are up in arms and questioning whether posting pictures of their children on the Internet is a good idea.

We all want to show the world how beautiful our offspring really are but at the same time we wonder if we are putting our children in a vulnerable state by posting their pictures. When I had to submit a photo for this blog, I took one of my kids and me and then one of just me. I am proud to be a mother, I am proud of my boys and I want the world to see them. At the same time I know of many instances where people have stolen photos of blogger's children and passed the children off as their own, openly mocked the children's appearance or God forbid used the pictures for inappropriate purposes. In the end I decided that you all would have to settle for just my ugly mug as I just didn't want my kids out there. I am an adult and I can take what people say about me and my appearance (within limits, I am human after all) but my kids didn't choose to go public. I don't care if other people do it, but for me it just didn't feel right. At the same time I wonder if I am a hypocrite because I freely use my children's name in this blog and will eventually talk about personal issues involving them. Also, am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

How do you feel about people posting pictures of their children on the 'Net? Would you do it? Do you feel that by posting on a blog or a message board that you open yourself up to the world and by that token you should share all? Let me know what you think!

Worry

I have always been a bit of a worrier. When I was younger I worried that I would be late to class, that my car would get a flat or that I would lose my job. I found that with a little positive self talk I could stop the fear that would make my heart race. Then I had kids and realized that my previous fears were mere wisps in the wind. Who knew having children could be such a terrifying yet exhilarating experience?

Last night my baby had a bout of stomach upset and while my husband and I cared for him and tried to keep him comfortable I couldn’t stop my worry. Could this be a simple tummy bug or is this a horrible disease? If I fell asleep after Jeremy went to bed would I hear him if he was sick in the middle of the night? Was I doing the right thing in taking a wait and see approach or should I call the Dr. RIGHT. THIS. MINUTE? You would think that with my second child I would be a bit more seasoned and not as quick to jump to the “what if” thoughts but the fear I had as a new mom is still there. Jeremy woke up this morning as hale and hearty as usual, having kicked whatever bug he had. Mom and Dad, on the other hand, are still feeling like we are walking on eggshells, waiting for that proverbial other shoe to drop.

Motherhood has changed me. I don’t mean in just the physical way of bags under the eyes and the stretch marks. I am more cautious, the world is a more dangerous place and fear seems to lurk around every corner. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 4 years- since I was pregnant with my first child. I used to be able to sleep like the dead and now the slightest noise will wake me up. Ironically, I wake up in the middle of the night if I don’t hear anything from my kids. There has been many a night where I am in their room at 3am, just checking on their breathing, replacing covers, and placing a kiss on their foreheads. Does this instinct ever end? My parents used to tell me when I would balk about my curfew time that they could not go to sleep until they heard my car pull in the driveway. I always thought that sounded so dumb, what did they think would happen to me? Now that I am a mother I realize that this world is fraught with dangers and until we know our kids are under our roof and under our care again we don’t ever really stop holding our breath.

Of course I don’t believe that life as a parent is one of constant terror. My children help me slow down and appreciate the little things in life. Don’t rush off to another appointment instead watch a spider build a web. Chores can wait while you make silly faces and jokes. Laughing until you cry is something you should every single day. Life goes by so fast and it never hurts to stop, take a deep breath, push the worry away and appreciate what is in front of you- the beauty of a flower, the Elmo song (for the 100th time) or the blessing of strong, healthy kids.

Welcome

While I have been reading blogs for quite some time, I have never written one despite the many thoughts that are always flying through my head. For my first Atlanta Parent piece I thought I would take a moment to introduce myself.

I like to think I am a bit different. I don’t subscribe to any particular parenting philosophy; rather I pick and chose depending on what works for my family. I like to say that I fly by the seat of my pants and that’s okay! I have always worked with children- as a nanny, a daycare teacher and in a school office before I became an at- home mom and now I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I have a History degree from Georgia State University which means I am qualified to spout off on obscure historical facts which bore the pants off of everyone I meet. When my kids get a little older I am going back to school to work on a Masters degree in Education.

I am married to a wonderful guy named Clay who shares my love of computers, silly movies, Monty Python and nonsense. He never fails to make me laugh and see the bright side of life. Some would call us dorks but I prefer to think of us as geeks. Trust me, there is a difference. Really. Stop laughing! I am also the mother of two amazing kids. Nicholas is 3 ½ (the ½ is very important when you are little) and is obsessed with Star Wars, Spiderman and trains. He is smart, funny and an all around great kid but he can also be frustrating, trying and well.. 3 years old. My baby, Jeremy, is 7 months and desperately trying to keep up with his older brother. He is a joy in every way and enjoys his Exersaucer, bananas and pulling Mom’s hair. My boys keep me on my toes and brighten my day. No, we aren’t planning on trying for a girl.

What will I write about? Oh, a little of this and a lot of that. I have many passions and enjoy talking about them. What can you expect from me? Advice, answers, questions and observations. I believe the little things in life make living more fun and a sense of humor is the most important trait to have. Hopefully I can make you laugh, think and learn and maybe you can do the same for me.

Welcome to my blog. I am glad you are here.