Hoppin' Down the Bunny Trail? Not This Year!

Clay and I are fortunate that our parents and siblings live in the Metro Atlanta area so we see them frequently and spend every holiday with them. So, when Clay and I started discussing our Easter plans we realized that we haven't been at home for any holiday since we were married! We jokingly said "we should just stay home this year!" Well, the more we thought about it, the more we liked the idea of celebrating Easter at home with just the 4 of us. We timidly told our families that we wouldn't be attending this year's festivities and surprisingly everyone is fine and completely understanding about our absence. It was settled, the Mallard family is staying off the bunny trail (known as Hwy 400, I-285 and I-20) this year.

I have the recipes and ingredients for our favorite Easter dishes, lots of plastic eggs to stuff for our family egg hunt and raw eggs waiting to be boiled and dyed. It is so wonderful to know that Jeremy and Nicholas (and, okay, Clay and I) will be able to spend lots of time checking out our respective Easter baskets before we head to Mass on Easter morning. We usually are in such a rush to get to where we are going that we don't have any time to really play with the toys in our Easter baskets or grab a few pieces of candy. The rest of the holiday will be spent relaxing, playing and just spending time together as a family. Nicholas is about to burst to break out his fishing gear so we'll probably head to a local pond to see what we can catch. If we don't catch any fish, then we'll break out the sidewalk chalk and let Nicholas and Jeremy create works of art on the driveway.

I doubt we will do this for any other holidays during the year as seeing extended family is very important to us. But I have to admit it is nice to have one special holiday celebration just for our little family. Happy Easter!

Too busy to fall behind

The past three weeks in the Mallard house have been busy, busy, busy. Clay and I have decided that this year will be the year to start working on fixing up the house so we can sell the minute the housing market picks up again. Our first order of business was to start on a massive decluttering spree because two packrats should never, ever live together. Many garbage bags were used, closets were emptied and papers were shredded. Our little house, which previously felt like it was busting at the seams, is once again tidy. Now we just have to start on fixing up the cosmetic aspect of the house. Joy.

In the midst of our cleaning frenzy Jeremy turned 1 year old. We invited our immediate families over for lunch and some Sesame Street themed birthday cake. Clay and I could not believe that our little guy was already a year old. I held it together well, only getting a little teary eyed as Jeremy demolished his own little smash cake. In the weeks before his birthday I was sure I was going to break down and cry at the thought that I would never again have a little baby in my house. But after Jeremy's birthday, as I put the Boppy, Exersaucer, bouncy seat and all the other baby things in a garage sale pile I mainly felt a sense of relief. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it when my boys were babies but I love that they older they get, the more... well... fun they get!

Even though Nicholas was only 2 1/2 years when Jeremy was born, it seemed like we were at a place where we were able to do so much with Nicholas. Once Jeremy arrived we again had to pull out all the things you need when you have an infant- the bigger diaper bag, the bigger stroller, the bottles, the 8 million diapers. I missed the days when I could just grab Nicholas, my purse and go. It was also a rude awakening to go from regularly getting a good night's sleep to once again revisiting those sleepless nights and bleary-eyed days. Naps aren't as easy to take when you have two kids on different sleep schedules. I would often feel a little sad for Nicholas because there were places I couldn't take him as often because I couldn't handle two kids by myself. I'm very good at multi-tasking but it is hard for Mom to climb up the jungle gym when she has a little baby in her arms!

Sure I will miss the way a new baby smells and the way a little one will snuggle so nicely on your chest with their head fitting right under your chin. And, thanks to hyperemesis, I am still a little angry that I had the decision regarding my family size made for me. Luckily those little heartbreaks are tempered by the absolute joy of watching Jeremy's personality and interests begin to develop. Going places with both boys is fun now because they play off of each other's reactions- Jeremy is no longer a baby bump on a log. Jeremy very much wants to keep up with his older brother so he too climbs the jungle gym, despite his young age (and his Mom hovering behind.)

I know one day I'll blink and my boys will be leaving for college so I don't want them to grow too fast. But if it has to happen I am going to make sure I stay busy enjoying every minute of the present and not dwelling in the past.

Pieces

Nicholas recently had his tonsils and adenoids removed so we were on what I like to call a "two week, Physician imposed house arrest." The first week was fine, we watched a lot of movies and things were pretty low key. It was nice to break free from the hustle and bustle of every day life and just be with my kids for a while. The second week? Well, that was not so pleasant. Nicholas had hit that stage where he was feeling better but was still unable to go about his normal routine so he was cranky and frustrated. As for me? I was climbing the walls in boredom. There are only so many times I can watch Shrek, the Star Wars movies or Noggin before I go insane. (Clay went to work every day- the lucky guy!) Even Jeremy was frustrated because he couldn't engage in one of his favorite activities- crawling all over his brother. We were a cranky bunch looking for a distraction so out of sheer desperation I pulled out some puzzles and we got to work.

I had forgotten how soothing puzzles can be! We worked on a 500 piece puzzle that I was sure would be out of Nicholas' range but he took to the task immediately. Puzzles are actually a great thing for children because as they play they are learning colors, shapes, math skills and spatial concepts. I really enjoyed watching Nicholas fit the pieces together because I could see his mind working as he discarded a piece or put an entire section together. Jeremy got into the act as he would helpfully "hand" us a puzzle piece whether we needed it or not. Of course I had more practice with puzzles so I was faster than Nicholas but somehow that stinker always managed to put in the last few pieces.

Nicholas has made a full recovery and we are back to our normal routine but the puzzle time still continues. At night you can find all four of us crowded around the coffee table, working on a puzzle and quietly chatting away. When the boys go to bed Clay and I come back to the puzzle and talk about our day. It may not be the most romantic of dates but working on a puzzle together helps us to reconnect. I know we sound like the dork family of the year, but I am really enjoying this new way our family has found to spend time together. Maybe house arrest wasn't so bad after all.

Kicking and Screaming

Yesterday was one of those days where I wished there was a Human Resources department for parenthood because I wanted to complain about harsh working conditions and hand in my resignation. We had meltdowns in private and in public, tantrums, tears and the requisite “I don’t like you right now!” And that was just from me! Ha! Seriously, I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to all that knowledge about raising children I had when I was a childless woman? Why, my kids were never going to have a tantrum in the middle of Target, or tell me they didn’t like me because I wouldn’t buy them a Star Wars toy. I am familiar with child development and psychology and know what it age appropriate behavior but that doesn’t make things any easier. When my children exhibit this behavior, I can’t help but wonder who replaced my calm, even tempered little boys with screaming banshees? New parents don’t always believe you when you tell them that sometimes you are more than happy to be away from your baby for hours, even if it is just to run errands. You can still love your children fiercely while at the same time banishing them to their rooms for the rest of the day. I feel it is important to stand my ground on the big stuff, and I do, but it can be so exhausting. I know my job as a parent is to raise confident, self-sufficient, caring and kind adults and sometimes that means getting a little tough and facing embarrassment. Sure it would be easy to give in when the whining starts but I don’t think that would teach them anything other than Mom is a pushover. So, as embarrassing as it may be, I’ll hand a half full shopping cart off to a store employee and leave the store when the tantrums start because I know I am teaching my child that I mean what I say and tantrums won’t get you what you want. Like Scarlett I know that tomorrow will be another day and things will get better. Sometimes that thought is the only thing that brings a smile to my face when the parenting day gets a little too rough.

Happy 2008!

I have wanted to get back to my regular posting but until today my fingers have been so numb I couldn’t think of typing. At the risk of sounding like Andy Rooney or Jerry Seinfeld, what is the deal with all of the twist ties and excessive packaging in kids toys? I think a majority of our Christmas holidays were spent opening boxes and untwisting millions of little twisty ties. Nicholas received a toy backhoe and it was literally bolted to the package! Crazy! Excessive toy packaging aside, our holidays were wonderful. It was so nice to cocoon as a family and just watch dvds, eat the rest of the Christmas cookies and play with all matter of toys. 2008 seems to be off to a good start, with everyone healthy and ready to get back to our normal routine. Best of all, we won’t have to open up anymore toys until Jeremy’s birthday in February. I believe our fingers and patience should be recovered by then!

Not Playing Around

I am writing this post with a muddled brain as I seem to have caught my ten millionth cold this year. I've decided that the indoor play area at our local mall is responsible for my misery as it is certainly a little petri dish of germs. Sure there is a little sign in front of the area claiming that a cleaning crew does a spit and polish job on the play structure twice a day but I simply don't believe it. I think those cleaning times are a figment of someone's imagination, like Bigfoot or jeans that make short curvy women look good.

Last week I let Nicholas play in the disease..er..play area after a particularly boring mall shopping day. He had a blast, running, jumping, climbing and picking up who knows what kinds of germs. When it was time to go I washed his hands well and set about my merry way. Saturday morning, Nicholas woke up with a whopper of a fever, congestion and some stomach upset. No one in our family or his class at school is sick so we were stumped as to where this new illness was coming from. Then we thought about *cue ominious music* the mall play structure!! We started recounting the various illnesses he has had in the past few months and noticed how they all occured after his activity time in the mall. What can I say, Clay and I are quick!

So here I sit, tissue in hand, sniffling and sneezing because Nicholas graciously shared his germs with me. My son is such a giver. As of now I am putting my foot down and declaring an end to the mall play area for my son. While I am not a germaphobe, I don't want to have to cover my son in a fine sheen of Purell before I allow him to play on a giant plastic police car. So, from now on it is outdoor parks for us. Sure we might get cold playing outside in the dead of winter but we have mittens, coats and hats. The way I figure it the colder it is, the fewer the germs that will survive. Sorry cootie-laden mall play area, you have been defeated this time!

My Christmas Mojo

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. There is something magical about going out at night and seeing lights and decorations covering every surface and brightening the landscape. Normal routines are shaken up as we pull out fancy clothes, eat rich foods, listen to dogs singing "Jingle Bells" and decorate our houses with dead trees and socks. The sense of Christmas Day anticipation is, in my opinion, more intoxicating than a mixed drink! But, now that I am older and have more of a hand in the Christmas preparations, sometimes it can be hard to keep my Christmas mojo.

One way I keep my sanity is to order gifts online. I normally am not a mall person but during the Christmas season I avoid the mall like the plague. I love buying my gifts while sitting on my couch in my pajamas. No one is jostling me, I don't have to hunt for what I want and most of the time I have two or three clicks of the mouse and I am done. I love Amazon almost as much as I love my family because you can find everything on that site, often a lot cheaper than at the store! I rarely pay shipping as many Internet retailers are getting wise to the fact that more and more people are doing their shopping online. Plus, I get a tiny little thrill each time I see the UPS truck pull up to my house. Hey, I am easily entertained.

I make sure I set a lot of time aside to do the things I like during the holidays. I know that can be hard if you have older kids who have a ton of school activities or if you have a lot of holiday parties to attend. Trust me, you will be amazed how calming the thought of doing what you want to do later can be. I love to bake, so I take an entire weekend to shop for my ingredients, prepare my treats and package them. I put on some good music, grab a mug of tea and go to work. The best part of my baking is I am not tempted to eat my goodies because frankly, after rolling my 100th peanut butter ball in chocolate I am not interested in ever seeing them again, much less eating one. You may hate baking but love Christmas movies, so watch one a night until Christmas. Do whatever you need to do to remain centered.

My family is my main priority during the Holiday season. I would rather politely and happily turn down a party invitation then go and run the risk of being a party pooper. I realized a long time ago that people will understand if you can't make every event during the holidays. I promise you won't hurt anyone's feelings if you take some time out to be with family! Tonight my family is going to follow fellow Atlanta Parent blogger Walt's advice and have a Stone Mountain Christmas. Sure it would be fun to dress up in our fancy party clothes and have a couple of drinks, but my husband and I will treasure the memory of our two boys riding the Christmas train a lot more.

I know the material nature of the holiday season can be overwhelming. When I feel like all I am doing is shelling out cash and buying, buying, buying I remember that this season isn't only about material goods. We are a Catholic family so we make sure to light the candles in the Advent wreath and remember the religious aspect of Christmas. You may feel that the Holiday spirit is one of love for your fellow man or doing works of charity. Whatever the holiday season means to you, be it religious or secular, do whatever it takes to make the season more meaningful.

If I am still feeling like a Grinch about the holiday season, I just think back to what it was like to be a kid at this time of the year. I remember many a Christmas Eve where I couldn't go to sleep because I might miss the sound of Santa's sleigh bells. My son Nicholas is now at the age where Christmas is the biggest thing in his life. Everything about the season is exciting to him and his glee rubs off on my husband and me. While I won't say beg, borrow or steal a child (PLEASE DON'T DO THAT), pretend that you are a kid again and see if you don't feel your heart growing, to quote Dr. Seuss, 3 sizes bigger.