Hyperemesis Awareness

There is a belief in my family that if you are pregnant and throw up you are having a girl and if you eat everything in sight you are having a boy. So, in my first pregnancy when I began to throw up at 6 weeks the only thought I had about morning sickness was I would soon need to buy pink dresses and tiny hairbows. At first I found the morning sickness to be annoying and something to grin and bear, but when I couldn’t keep down water and was throwing up every 15 minutes I began to suspect something might be wrong. I consulted the pregnancy bible “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” and read that some women are sicker than others in pregnancy but on the rare chance that you can't keep anything down you should give your OB's office a call. When I called the OB the “helpful” (ha ha) nurses suggested crackers, ginger ale, sea bands and small frequent meals. I wondered how this would help me if I couldn’t even keep water down? When I went to the OB for my 8 week checkup my Dr. took one look at me and immediately sent me to Northside where I was given 4 bags of IV fluid in order to get rehydrated. I thought the worst was over until I had to go back to the hospital the next week for more fluids. At that time I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarium (HG).

Hyperemesis is severe nausea and vomitting in pregnancy which causes a woman to become dehydrated because she is unable to properly eat and drink. A woman also loses more than 5% of her body weight and has trouble working or maintaining a normal routine because she is so ill. Hyperemesis feels as if you combined the worst hangover and stomach flu you have ever had and multiplied that by 1000. Once I recevied my diagnosis, I became an invalid, dealing with home health care nurses, IV hydration, blown veins in my hands, powerful anti-nausea drugs that were fed into my leg via a pump and kept me in a haze and an overwhelming fear that my baby and, well, I, wouldn't make it through this ordeal. When Nicholas was born healthy and weighing in at a whopping 8lbs 1 ozs, I finally felt like I could breathe again. I was determined to give Nicholas a sibling even though I knew that my Hyperemesis would most likely strike again. Sure enough at 6 weeks I was back in the ER receiving fluids. This time I knew what I was up against and demanded more aggresive treatment for my Hyperemesis. Thankfully, Jeremy was born healthy but I decided that my dream of having 4 kids was just not possible. My days of pregnancy and battling Hyperemesis were over.

The medication, IVs, nausea and inability to eat was horrible; but the worst part of Hyperemesis is the isolation. Because only 1-2% of pregnant women get this condition, there is little understanding of what exactly causes this severe form of morning sickness. I had to go on disability from my job because I couldn’t manage the drive to work- not with the constant vomiting and the IV pole. Many people thought I was exaggerating and trying to get attention. They didn’t understand that while I was desperately lonely I couldn’t have them come over because smells would send me into hours long vomiting fits. I couldn’t relate to other pregnant women- Cravings? Maternity and baby clothes shopping? I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t leave the house because I refused to throw up in public. Baby showers? Pregnancy glow? HA! My only lifesaver was http://www.helpher.org/, a hyperemesis pregnancy website and message board. The users of that board knew the fear, frustration and anger of a Hyperemesis pregnancy.

Now that I have defeated the Hyperemesis demon, I feel it is my duty to help other women. While Hyperemesis is still a rare disease, more research, publicity and awareness is occuring every day. Matter of fact, NBC News recently aired a story about Hyperemesis, which I have posted below. If you know someone who is suffering from Hyperemesis, or you think you might have it, please seek help. Don't worry about being wrong, or being called a whiner. An excellent online resource is http://www.helpher.org/. If you would like to talk about your experiences, or ask questions, please comment below. Just know that you are not alone!


The struggle against hyperemesis

Learning to Let Go

With the exception of a miserable 6-month stint in the corporate world, I have always worked in the field of Education. There is nothing more exhilarating then seeing a child learn and knowing I was responsible for the a-ha moment when a concept finally sinks in. My professional life took place when I was childless so I uttered the phrase “when I have kids I’ll never…” too much for my own good. I never said those words to the parents of course, but I know I often had opinions of parents or children that really didn’t reflect a real world experience. Now that I am a parent I see things from the other side of the desk and I am receiving a rude awakening. My oldest son Nicholas goes to our church’s preschool 3 days a week and really enjoys his time there. Nicholas is also learning that classrooms have rules different than at home and therefore he is spending a lot of time in time-out. His issues are normal for a 3 year old and nothing too horrible but when I receive a less than lovely discipline report I wonder if I am the parent of the “bad kid” in class or if people think my husband and I are bad parents. I know that is an irrational thought but sometimes it is hard to be neutral and see the big picture when I have the Momma Bear instinct running through my veins.

Now, I am a realist and I know that my child isn’t so sweet that he could be made out of spun sugar. Nicholas is all boy, very active and a bit mischievous but I know that when he gets overexcited and acts up in class it is more out of sheer excitement and joy than anything malicious. I want to make sure Nicholas is a good friend and classmate and can obey the school’s rules but I don’t want to hurt his love of learning. Even though we aren’t supposed to do it, teachers and parents talk about kids and I don’t want my son labeled a troublemaker. As a mom I want everyone to see my child for the good kid he is and I want other people to love him as much as I do. But, at the same time I know that it isn’t healthy for me to hover over him, make excuses and protect him from every bad thing he might encounter. If he is going to be a well-rounded kid he has to learn things on his own and deal with the consequences of his actions. When I was the teacher I hated it when parents would question every move I made but now I see how hard it is to let go and trust someone else to know what is good for my child.

Sometimes it feels like I am an acrobat walking a tightrope. I need to be an advocate for my child while at the same time letting him find his way in the world. The frightening thing is the issues will only get bigger. Right now I fret over his behavior in a 3-year old classroom but one day I’ll have to worry about his grades, a girl breaking his heart, temptations and hard choices. I want to keep him small and in the safe little bubble of our home but I can’t. He has to learn that not everyone will love him as much as I do and that is okay! So my son and I are both getting an education right now. Nicholas is learning his letters, numbers and colors and I am learning that my job as a parent is to be my child’s soft place to fall. So far my son seems to be thriving and his once a day time-outs don’t seem to be hurting his love of learning. How am I doing? Well, I am developing a thicker mom skin and learning to let go, one baby step at a time.